


I Play To Win

by alisongaylaurentis



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Emison - Freeform, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 11:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2619377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alisongaylaurentis/pseuds/alisongaylaurentis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alison can't afford the thought of losing Emily. Not like this. Emily wasn't born for such cruelty. She will not let Emily go. Even if it means she'll have to go in her place. (Hunger Games AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'd Go To Hell And Back With You

**Author's Note:**

> This work can also be found on my fanfiction.net account, where I go by the same username of alisongaylaurentis. I'm on tumblr (alisongaylaurentis.tumblr.com) and twitter (@aligaylaurentis) too. The following chapter titles are all song titles from the band Theory Of A Deadman.

Another Hunger Games. Another year of pain for innocent people that pay for the mistake of others. Pay with their lives and the life of their beloved ones. However, Alison couldn't help but agree that it was effective. All of that clearly kept people on "their place". But it really was brutal the way they put 24 kids locked away and make them fight to death. And she was terrified of that.

But not for herself. Not that she would ever admit that to anyone, she was terrified for Emily. They have been friends for ages now, and Emily has been the sweetest person she's ever came to meet. For the past years, their relationship have grown into something she never imagine it was possible in a world as they lived. Even though they were in a group of five girls, Alison always felt closer and more comfortable with Emily than any of the other girls.

She was ever amazed at how Emily could find (and bring) the beauty to a world as awful as the one they lived in. And she always insisted that, somehow, they would end up fine. She was big on happy endings. And Alison always told her that when she had the chance.

And it was because of that as well that Alison was always scared when that time of year came. Not for her. For Emily. Because how someone as sweet and as beautiful as Emily could be forced to participate on something so brutal and awful like that?

Alison remember the last year when her brother was called to the Hunger Games and did not came back. That was when Alison decided life was too short to keep her feelings to herself. So she was twice more scared this time because of the events of last year and by the fact that they have finally admitted their feelings to each other, so they were finally together as Alison always wanted. As both always wanted. This was their last year. Alison could not afford to lose Emily, not now.

She couldn't bear the thought of losing Emily. They have known each other for so long that Alison could literally not imagine a life with no Emily Fields.

She pressed herself a little bit closer to Emily at that thought. The usual movie that they played every year had just stopped playing. Alison searched for Emily's hand. Emily gave her a look from the corner of her eyes and Alison returned with that usual mocking look, as she was bored to be there. She couldn't let Emily see how scared she truly was.

But Emily knew her better than that. So the brunette just tangled their fingers together and squeezed Alison's hand softly.

Alison knew Emily better too. The brunette looked calm on the outside, but Alison could feel how nervous she really was.

The voice from the lady from the Capitol – who's name Alison never bothered to remember – filled the whole square on district 12. She was about to announce the unfortunate girl who was going to play on the games this year.

Alison hold her breathe and felt Emily do the same on her side, when the woman reached for the bowl containing the girls names. Alison remembered every single time she had stood on that same place waiting to hear her name being called. Which never came to happened.

The woman stood there holding the name on her hand and Alison felt like running away grasping at Emily's hand.

"Emily Fields" The voice of the Capitol woman filled the whole square again and Alison felt like she was going to pass out. Her eyes were fixed on the woman still.

No. It couldn't be. Not her Emily. Not her sweet Emily. Her mind couldn't register. Her whole body was in denial. She only looked at her right, where Emily was standing, when the woman called her for a second time.

Emily was even worse than her. Her tan skin had lost color. Her eyes were filled with horror and surprise. Yet somehow, Emily managed to let go of Alison's hand and pass in front of her to step on her left on the passageway to the little stage in front of the square.

When Alison finally snapped out of it, she grasped Emily – who was on the middle of the aisle – by the wrist and stopped her from taking any step forward. What caused Emily to look surprise and confuse at her.

"Ali, what you doing?" Emily asked trying to make Alison let go of her.

Alison didn't think. She couldn't think. The only thing she knew was that Emily wasn't going anywhere. She wouldn't allow it.

"I volunteer." Alison's voice came out as a whisper as she was still holding on to Emily, looking her straight in the eye.

"What?!" Emily said shocked. She looked more horrified with that than when the woman called her name.

When Alison saw the peacekeepers heading towards them, and she realized she didn't said it loud enough, she repeated.

"I volunteer." Alison almost screamed as she pulled Emily to the line again avoiding the peacekeepers to get to her. "I volunteer as tribute." Alison said standing in Emily's place. That caused the peacekeepers to stop on their tracks.

"Ali, no!" She heard Emily scream on her side but was avoided to get any closer to Alison by three girls holding her back in place. Spencer was saying something on her ear – trying to comfort her – while Hanna had an arm around her and Aria was just trying to hold her in place.

Alison turned quickly towards them, before the peacekeepers could catch her, and placed a chaste kiss on Emily's lips.

"Don't worry." Was all she said before turning around in direction of the stage. "Take care of her for me, would you?" She asked to the girls as she walked away avoiding the peacekeepers trying to catch her arm.

Alison's heart ached with every step she took away from Emily, so people couldn't see how hurt she truly was, she put her best tough-icy face and walked towards the stage, aware of every eye on her.

Alison got to the stage and saw the woman smiling down at her.

"Come dear, come." The woman said standing a hand to rush her. So she reached for the flight of stairs by the side of the stage and followed the woman to the center.

She quickly searched for Emily's face on the crowd. She spotted Emily in Hanna's arms, Spencer still whispering something to her as Aria just nodded and agreed. Emily still looked like crying but still holding in. Alison was glad they had such good friends. She only looked away from them when she heard the woman ask something to her but she didn't listened, she looked at the woman for a second but didn't ask for her to repeat the question. The woman finally realized that Alison didn't heard her and asked again.

"What is your name dear?" She wanted to tell the woman not to call her 'dear' but she didn't had the effort to do so.

"Alison DiLaurentis." Was what she said instead.

"Well, Alison, that young girl must be really important to you for you having volunteered yourself in her place. As it is very odd for the lowest districts to have volunteers." Alison felt like slapping the woman's face all the way to the Capitol as she kept talking.

"She is." Alison answered the woman with a cold voice and giving the woman a sharp look. "She is my girlfriend."  _Didn't you saw when I gave her a kiss right in the lips?_  Alison wanted to add but didn't.

"Very good." The woman said realizing Alison was not in the mood to keep chatting. So she turned to face the crowd instead "Let's have a round of applause for your volunteer then." She started clapping followed by a very weak response, as hardly twenty people clapped too. She cleaned her throat to shake the awkward situation and quickly added "For the boys then." She made her way to the bowl with the boys names.

Alison searched for Emily on that brief time. Emily was now standing without Hanna's help, the girls were just standing by her side. Emily looked Alison in the eyes and with that one look they talked to each other. She saw the plead on Emily's eyes for Alison to come back to her and Alison responded promising Emily that she would. And that was one promise she would have to keep with the price of other people's lives.

Alison finally looked away to face the woman again, who was about to reveal the boy who would play in the games.

"Noel Khan." She finally said.

Alison couldn't believe it. Noel Khan was her neighbor. They basically grew up together and now they would be forced to fight against each other. They weren't actually close but they knew each other, their families knew each other. But again, District 12 wasn't that big, a lot of people knew each other. Alison didn't heard anyone to volunteer for the boy as he walked down the aisle of death.

She feared if she had to face the boy in the arena. In one side because he was twice her size. In the other, none of it mattered, she feared she would have to find a way to put him down. Find a way to come back to Emily. She only hoped she wouldn't be the one to find him inside there.

The boy finally stepped on the stage trying to put a tough face on – much like Alison was doing this whole time – but she knew he was just as scared as she was. Noel stood on her side in the middle of the stage, then the woman made them both shake hands before they could walk inside the city hall. But before they got in Alison shot another look to where Emily was standing. She saw Emily with eyes fixed on her taking one step ahead, even though there was not much she could do. At least Alison would get to say goodbye to her brunette. " _No"_ she scolded. She was not saying goodbye. She was going to see Emily again. Alison was coming home. She was not letting Emily alone. Not when she just got her. She had promised. It may sound a little selfish but it was Emily after all. Emily deserved the best and Alison wanted to be the one to give her that.

Alison wanted to be the one to give Emily the happy ending she deserved.


	2. All Or Nothing

Alison let herself be carried away inside the city hall. She was put in one room in the second floor and Noel on the one right beside. She entered the room and noticed only one couch by the window and a chair by the side of the room. She took the chair and put it facing the door. She sat there for a few seconds that didn't last long, her body was just as tense as her mind, so just stood up and walked from one side to another in the room.

All she could think of was Emily, the thought of her parents haven't crossed her mind until they opened the door.

She hadn't stop to think about what was going through their minds when she had volunteered for Emily. She didn't actually knew how her mother specifically would react. Sometimes she act like she cared about her and most of the time like she didn't. But Alison didn't actually think it was easy to see your daughter to practically ask to be killed, especially when their older child had just suffered from the very same way the younger would.

xxxxxxxxxx

Emily waited impatient to be called into the room. As usual, family first and if the tribute had another close friends  _maybe_  they were allowed to say goodbye too. Unfortunately, they thought that four girls were too much. Maybe two could go in, but they finally decided, between the four of them, that it would be better to let Emily and Alison had their private moment to say goodbye.

Emily was glad though that they let the girls at least wait on the outside with her. She was very impatient walking from one side to another. She could see the annoyance on Spencer's face even though the girl didn't ask for her to stop. At least her friend could understand how nervous she was and respect that.

"Emily, try to sit down for a bit." Hanna finally broke the silence that filled the hall since they got in.

Emily looked at her other friends. Aria nod her head slightly, agreeing with Hanna from where she was standing on the left side from the blonde. Emily sighed and took the seat beside Hanna.

"Hey, it will be fine." Spencer said on a sweet voice trying to cheer her a little from where she was standing in her left now. She just nodded trying to agree.

Right after that, the door from where Alison was had opened. Mr. and Mrs. DiLaurentis walking out of it. Mr. DiLaurentis had a few tears in his eyes, which was more that it could be said from Mrs. DiLaurentis. That didn't mean the woman didn't feel anything. Just that maybe she could be good in hiding it. Just like her daughter.

They both shared a brief sympathy look with Emily before they walk away.

That was when it finally hit her what Alison has done for her. She couldn't believe that. The act had caused many feelings on Emily. First, she felt terrified when the woman had called her name. But it didn't compared with what she felt when she heard the blonde volunteering as tribute in her place.

Then, she felt love for the blonde because she couldn't believe Alison loved her so much that it would get to the point where she would have volunteered in Emily's place. But she had to admit that if the places were inverted she would have done the same for the blonde. However, seeing how stubborn Alison DiLaurentis was, she'd probably would have found a way to convince everyone to let her go in Emily's place even if Emily had volunteered.

And finally she felt heartbreak. She loved the blonde so much she didn't want to imagine all the awful things that could happen to her inside of that arena. She didn't want to imagine what would happen to herself if had to live a life without Alison.

"Em, I think it's your turn now." She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Aria's voice.

She stood up so fast she almost tripped in herself. She looked one more time to her friends. They gave her a incentive look and wished her a silent good luck. She turned around and walked to the door.

xxxxxxxxxx

As soon as the peacekeepers opened the door and she stepped inside she felt arms being thrown around her neck. She felt the familiar smell of Alison's perfume and immediately she hugged her blonde back. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Alison broke apart.

"We don't have much time." The blonde said with her arms on Emily's shoulders. Emily still had her hands on the blonde's waist.

"Alison, what the hell were you thinking?" Was all Emily could find herself saying. But even though she wanted to feel mad with the blonde she could only feel saddened by the thought of having to let her go.

"I was thinking about you." Alison replied easily, caressing Emily's cheek. "I was thinking that I couldn't let someone so pure and good like you be part of something like that." Alison talked and looked at her with such love that it broke Emily's heart and healed it at the same time. She felt tears burning behind her eyes.

"Ali –"

"No, Em." Alison cut her off, pressing her fingers softly on Emily's lips. "We don't have to talk about this. We don't have time for that. What's done it's done."

"Ali" Emily called again and reached for Alison's fingers that was on her lips, she kissed them softly before she continued talking, looking at the piercing blue eyes she had always loved. "Just know that I would have done the same to you. You know that right?" She made sure to put all that feeling in her eyes so Alison was sure about that.

The blonde nodded slightly trying to smile. She looked down and Emily cupped her chin to make the blonde look at her again.

"I don't know what I'll do if ever lose you." She pressed a soft kiss on the blonde's lips.

"You never will." Alison responded after they broke apart, pressing their foreheads together.

"How can you be sure of that?" Emily felt like she almost couldn't hold back her tears anymore.

Instead of answering, Alison just took a step back, but she still stood close enough that Emily could feel her breathe. She took Emily's wrist, the one that had the bracelet with her name on. All five of the girls had one, friendship bracelets each with their names carved on it. She took off Emily's bracelet then she did the same with her own. She put the one with Alison's name on Emily and then asked for Emily to put hers on Alison. Now they were wearing each others bracelets.

"I promise." Alison looked at Emily. "The bracelets will find their way to each other.  _We_  will find our way to each other." Alison said and then put her arms around Emily's neck again and pulled her close for a kiss.

The kissed started soft and slow. They just felt the taste of each others lips for a second, before they deepened and kiss hard and needy. They enjoyed like it was the first and the last time that they ever kissed and, for a second, Emily forgot about the games and tributes and goodbyes. It only mattered here and now. Her and Alison. She would see Alison again. She knew that. She knew that Alison was coming back for her.

Before they knew, they were interrupted by the peacekeepers that opened the door. They pulled away a little breathless and Emily turned quickly to look into Alison's eyes one last time. Alison did the same.

"I love you." Emily said looking deep in Alison's eyes, trying to put all her feeling in that look. "I love you, Ali."

"I love you, Em." Alison replied and Emily could catch all the fear and love, hurt and hope in Alison's eyes. "Wait for me." She kissed Emily's hand and took it to hold close to her heart.

"I'll be waiting for you." Emily assured, kissing her forehead.

"Time to go now!" One of the peacekeepers rushed her. Then she let go of Alison reluctantly. She left with the image of Alison's eyes still focused on her. At the same time they assured Emily everything was going to be fine, she still could see the fear on the blonde's eyes.

xxxxxxxxxx

It only hit her all the things that were said inside the room when she left the big house with her friends.

The minute she stepped out of the house she stopped on her track, her friends were just two steps ahead of her. Emily started to cry and she couldn't contain herself. Her friends immediately looked behind and run towards Emily. She sat on the stairs and let her friends put their arms around her and say words of comfort. It wasn't the loud kind of cry. She didn't want anyone to hear it, so she cried quietly in her friends arms. She cried to herself, she cried for Alison. She knew she had to be strong and she couldn't just keep crying in every corner that she saw, even though that was the only thing she wanted to do. That's why she was doing now, now she needed to.

She needed to cry out her lungs now because after that she would have to be strong, she would have to hold on. Because she knew that Alison would have to be strong too.

They both would have to be strong if they wanted to see each other again.


	3. Out Of My Head

Emily was sitting on the floor in Hanna's house with the other girls, waiting to watch Alison make her interview with Caesar Flickerman as the tributes always did the night before the games begin.

They were all in silence watching the other tributes doing their interview, one by one. Some of them seemed kind of comfortable with the situation, answering the questions easily and others not quite. She didn't really cared though, for what they had to say. The entire time she could only think of Alison. To be more specific, she only thought of Alison since the girl had gone away. The games hadn't even started yet and she was more nervous than she had ever been in her life. Even though her girlfriend got an eight out of twelve in her training – and she couldn't even imagine how – she was afraid she was going to lose her. But she had to be strong and believe that everything was going to be fine.

When they called for Alison's name her heart stopped and her breath hitched in her throat at the sight of the blonde. Alison was beautiful, has always been, obviously. But now she was just stunning.

Because of the district, Emily figured, Alison was wearing all black. A long black wedding-like dress, and her all black makeup that made her icy blue eyes more icy that Emily has ever saw them, even though, they still had that warmth in them that probably only Emily could see. And she had a few black stripes in her hair. She walked in stage with a fierce look in her face, but Emily could see past that. She knew the blonde better than anyone. Even though the blonde tried her best to look fierce, Emily could see she was terrified and a little uncomfortable being up there.

"She looks amazing!" Hanna broke the silence that laid on the room for quite some time, the other girls agreeing with her.

"Yes, she does." Emily manage to say even though her gaze didn't left the TV screen.

The applause on the screen finally ceased when Alison was greeted by Caesar and they sat down. The first thing Caesar did was compliment how stunningly beautiful Alison was. Emily couldn't help but smile at sight of her girlfriend on screen. She did look very beautiful. Alison thanked him with a smirk on her face.

They made a small talk about how different the Capitol was from district 12 and what things Alison liked about the Capitol. Then he asked what Alison missed the most about home. Emily saw her facial expression falter for just about half a second, but she recovered her smirk faster than Emily could see.

"Well, Caesar" Alison started. "If I'm being honest with you, what I miss the most is actually some of the people back there." Alison stated and Emily couldn't help the weak smile that escaped her lips.

She knew Alison wouldn't just say to everyone in national television that she missed one person in particular more than most. But it was a fact that Alison had volunteered for her, so people would imagine that they had a very profound bond.

"I see." Caesar spoke in a soft voice. "Is there anyone in particular you miss most than the others?" He asked, waiting to get the right answer. She knew he was trying to get Alison to talk about Emily.

"Oh, you know" Alison started, and Emily could see how she did not wanted to talk about that. "Just family and friends." Emily knew Alison would not be able to talk about them without showing how much she cared for Emily. And Emily also knew that Alison thought that if people saw that, they would think she was weak. And Alison did not liked to be seen as weak.

"Yes, and what about that girl? The one you volunteered for?" Caesar pushed even more, and now Alison had no escape. Emily saw her face change very slightly again. "What was her name again?"

"Emily." Alison tried to seem indifferent about the subject, but of course, that wasn't possible. "Emily Fields."

"Can you talk to us about her a little bit?" He asked.

Emily didn't know if Alison was going to bitch slap the guy or just tell him she already said all he needed to know. By her surprise, Alison started talking about her.

"Well, she's my girlfriend. She's eighteen, just like me. She's the sweetest person that I've ever met, and I –" She stopped herself. She seemed to be wondering if saying the next thing would be a good or a bad idea. "And I love her very much." She finally said with a smile on her face.

Emily wanted to cry and hold Alison, but she couldn't. She couldn't cry because she promise she wouldn't after that afternoon Alison went to the capitol. And of course, she couldn't hold Alison because she was miles and miles away from her.

"Very good. She seems nice." He said sincerely. "Did you talk to her before you left?" Alison just nodded her head in response. "What did she said to you?" Emily thought the guy was pushing a little bit too far, and by the looks on Alison's face, she seemed to be thinking the same. But she answered him anyway.

"She said that she loved me, and that she would be waiting for me." Alison simply stated, giving a little summary of what they said to each other.

"And what did you said to her?" He asked softly.

"I said that we would find our way to each other, and that I loved her back." Alison said those last words looking at the camera. And Emily was glad for that because she could look into the blonde's eyes as she said that she loved her.

"Of course you did." He gave Alison a quick and soft hug right as the buzzer indicates the end of the interview. "Well, looks like our time is up. Alison DiLaurentis from Disctrict 12 everyone!" He says as Alison stands up and it's followed with hundreds of applause.

"She was really awesome there." Emily hears Spencer's voice in her back. She had forgotten that the other girls were there. Hanna and Aria had some tears in her eyes, all of them had. But Emily tried her best to cover hers.

"She really was." She agrees with Spencer. And she was really glad she was with her other friends as they join in for a hug.

"She's coming back." Hanna states with tears in her eyes. "She has to."

"And she will, Han. I know she will." She holds the blonde with tears in her own eyes.

She had to believe Alison was coming back. If she didn't believe that, she didn't believed in any other thing.


	4. Easy To Love You

Alison didn't know how she was still alive. Maybe she was so focused on coming back home that sometimes her brain manage to work fast enough to save her life. And sometimes Noel was really helpful too. It's been hardly 48 hours since they got inside the arena and more than 12 tributes were already gone. Maybe it was just lucky that both of them got to get out of the cornucopia alive.

This year's arena was by far the craziest one Alison has ever seen in her 18 years of watching the Hunger Games. It seemed to be a typical city from the old world, only it was the version post-apocalyptic of the city. Buildings with various windows broken and even some of the building itself broken by the half. There were many alleys too. And she was in one of them right now with Noel.

Alison and Noel decided that they should stick together, the both of them. They couldn't be with the careerists, especially after they looked like they wanted to eat them alive when they were on the training. And they couldn't be alone too, Alison knew that even if she could she wouldn't be able to be alone in there. But they decided, before they even started the training, that by the end of the games, when there wouldn't be many of them alive, they would go their separate ways and see where it lead.

But for now, they were together eating some of the food they got by grabbing the first bag they saw before running away from the cornucopia. It was pretty quiet, if you didn't count the creeping sound of the fireplace Noel had managed somehow to light up, and Alison would have appreciated more if she could stop thinking about Emily, because generally, that's pretty much what she's been doing when she wasn't thinking about her own death or her new found best friend's death.

Alison needed to think about Emily though. She was one of the very few reasons Alison would do anything to win this game. Well, Emily was one of the very few  _good_  reasons Alison would do anything to win this game. And Alison only allowed the good things to cross her mind while she was there, and pretty much since she got to the capitol, because that place could definitely bring the worst in you. And that worst part, Alison knew, was the biggest part of her, and she wasn't proud of that. But since she's gotten together with Emily she had been working on that, because she wanted to deserve Emily, not simply have her. She knew Emily always brought out the good part of her even before they were together, so she used to think about Emily to bring that good part of her.

She thought about Emily, but she tried her best not to think about Emily and her  _together_. Because when she did think of them together she wanted to scream or cry or run away, or all of them together, but none of them were options. Fortunately, when her thoughts began to wonder to that place, Noel spoke.

"We're running out of food." He said not looking up from his can of beans.

"It was lucky enough we managed to get these bags with food in it." Alison replied

"Yes, it was." They stayed quiet for a couple of seconds before Noel spoke again. "Where do you think we can find food in here?"

"I don't know." Alison thought for a minute. "Do you think they recreated here those grocery stores or whatever, that they had back there?" Alison wonder.

"I don't have any idea. We should go try and find them by the morning." Alison nodded agreeing with Noel.

That was how their conversations went every time, they only spoke when there was something that needed to be said. And it's not like they ever got much to talk about anyway, they were never close personally, even though they did lived close to each other. But Noel had become a very good friend in those past days.

Soon enough they finished their diner time and decided that Noel was taking the first shift to watch for other tributes. Alison was getting ready to sleep when Panem's anthem started to play and the face of various tributes lit up the night sky. Alison counted 4 tributes, which made the total of exactly 12 tributes down. They were in the average, normally by the second day there were always at least half of the tributes dead. After the last face appeared on the sky, Alison just turned to her side where she was lying down and tried to sleep.

Again, her head was filled with images of Emily. This time Alison just let the images play freely in her mind. It was weird how it played out inside her head as if it was someone else's memories, but at the same time she could still remember how it felt when she saw Emily's face every day. She could still remember how it felt when she had first realized she was truly in love with Emily, and it's crazy how you just realize in a totally random moment. She remembered she was about 15 years when she had that moment. It was all of the sudden, like something had just clicked inside her and then it was just "oh my God, I'm in love with that girl". She remembered how terrified she was to admit that even to  _herself_ , she never thought of actually saying aloud to Emily, that's why it took her another 2 years and her dead brother for her to finally say it to Emily. And she remember how that felt too. And afterwards, when she kissed Emily for the first time.

 _God!_  The feeling of Emily's lips on hers. She loved that, she couldn't wait to feel her lips on hers again. To feel her arms around her. To even just see her face. Certainly, Alison missed Emily more than any other thing in this earth. She never realized how much she craved for Emily until that moment. She promised herself for the hundredth time since she got there that she would have Emily in her arms again. And the first thing that Alison would do when she got to her district was to kiss Emily until the need for air was bigger than her need for the brunette.

And it was with the thought of Emily's arms around her body, and Emily's lips against hers that she fell asleep.


	5. Wait For Me

For more five days they managed to stay alive in the arena. For five days they have been surviving in the most unpredictable ways. It sure was a big surprise to Alison how they managed it. They kept doing what they were doing since day one. Stay out of radar, not even talking to each other, looking out for each other's backs. Until this moment in the game they didn't need to use Noel's spear, or Alison knife. On people that is. By some incredible miracle, they haven't crossed paths with any other tribute. They were pretty much just staying alive. Whenever they did saw one or other tributes they would just turn around in the alleys and stay hidden.

Alison never thought that cowardice, she thought as being smart, because after all, that was what kept them alive till this day.

But today was different. Today was the day they would go their separate ways. They haven't even talked about it, both of them just knew. Because that was the agreement they've made the day they started all of the training and even before that. When there was left enough people that both of them would handle by themselves they would go their separate ways.

Alison thought this was for the best. Even though she was never close with Noel, staying locked away in post-apocalyptic city with someone can sure bring two people together. She wasn't that close with him even still, to be truthful. They really only spoke when it was needed. One night though, they talked about home – presumably, because they both missed so much – they talked about everything they missed and of course, Alison couldn't help but talk about Emily that night. It was the first time she allowed herself to talk so openly about Emily since forever. Maybe it was the fact that she missed her so much that she couldn't hold it anymore. In anyway, Noel helped Alison to stay alive – just as much as she helped him – so Alison was thankful to him.

It was still morning time, Alison imagined, they were walking together, finding a place where it would be safe enough for both of them to go in different directions and still be safe. There were five of them inside the arena now, if you counted Alison and Noel, the odds of they bumping into each other after they separate were really low.

Alison thought of Emily again. She thought it was actually stupid how much she has been thinking about Emily when she had more important things to think about like, staying alive. To find a way to go back home… To Emily again. After that thought she just admitted that it was just inevitable for her not to think about Emily.

For one second – and for the first time since she left home – she imagine what it would have been like if Emily had in fact go to the games. And how it would have felt like for herself to be at home, watching Emily and hoping that the girl wouldn't die. To think that even if she wanted, she couldn't do anything to help. And for the first time Alison felt sorry for Emily. For let Emily with that agony, knowing that Alison could die in any second that she spent there. Now she reminded herself to tell Emily that she was sorry. Sorry for letting her behind and sorry for letting her worried sick back home.

Alison was taken away from her thoughts when she hit her face on Noel's back – he was walking a few steps in front of her.

"What's wrong?" Alison asked taking a few steps back.

"Look." Noel said.

Alison stood on his side and looked down at the enormous gap that separated the two sides of the street.

"I think we can't continue this way." He stated obviously.

"You think?" Alison said sarcastically. Noel didn't respond, he just turned around and started walking the same way they had just made.

"What do we do now?" Alison followed him.

"I guess we just keep walking." He answered without looking back.

And that's what they did. They turned in another street and kept walking. The weather did some unexpected change while they walked. Two minutes after they started walking the sun was shining above their heads, now the sky was dark and the wind was blowing really hard.

It didn't took long for them to find the place where they would finally go in different paths. Noel turned to look her.

"I think this is it then." Alison said taking the hair out of her face.

"Yeah." He looked around. "Do you think we will see each other again?" He asked looking back at her.

 _God, I really hope we don't._  Alison thought, but what she said was:

"I don't know." Then he just nodded silently.

He stood one hand for Alison to shake. Alison took her hand out of her hair and shook his hand.

"Well, may the odds be in your favor, DiLaurentis." Noel said letting go of Alison's hand.

"The same goes for you." Alison took the hair out of her face again.

When they took one step away from each other the wind almost blew them away. Literally. The wind was blowing so strong now that Alison had to hold on to Noel's arm to keep herself from flying away.

"What the hell is going on?!" Noel managed to say – well, scream – louder than the wind.

"Obviously they are trying to kill us faster!" Alison screamed back. And almost like a queue, they heard a 'crack' sound behind them.

They turned around to face the enormous building behind them. It had been cracked in the half, and it was about to fall right on top of their heads.

Noel grabbed Alison's hand and that was  _her_  queue to start running. Well, they tried, but the wind didn't helped much. At least they managed to stay out of reach from the building. But they were close enough for the impact of the thing falling to make them fall on their face in the floor.

They got up quickly and started running again. There was another crack on their right, the plan was to keep running forward but the wind wouldn't let. They turned then on the first left and ran as fast as they could. The wind was howling so loud that Alison couldn't even hear her thoughts. She once or twice thought she had heard the cannons that announced the death of tributes but again, the wind was so loud that she could really tell.

They just kept running and running. From time to time they would have to change their way because of the wind or because buildings were in the way – or about to be in the way. And then, Alison noticed that they were being led to the park, the little park were the cornucopia was placed. The game rulers were forcing them to run to the cornucopia.

Alison didn't know for how long they ran, but as they did, the wind was becoming less and less effective, though it never stopped and it still was blowing hard. Eventually they reached the place where the cornucopia was.

They ran towards the cornucopia, Noel just a few steps in front of her. Their only concern was to reach the entrance of the cornucopia. They didn't cared to look for other tributes as they ran. Which was very stupid.

When they were a few steps away from the cornucopia, Alison felt a cold, excruciating pain or her left shoulder, just above her heart. Alison stopped running and let out a scream. Noel turned around to face her. Alison looked at her shoulder. The knife was stuck so deep that only the handle could be seen. She could feel the pain from the top of her body all the way to her toes. She felt dizzy, but she tried to look on the direction the knife was thrown.

It was the big guy from district 2, already pulling out another knife as he ran towards them. She knew it. She remembered how he was in the trainings. That wind might have even helped him, by the look of how deep the knife was stuck on her shoulder.

Noel screamed her name, and Alison wanted to run, to move, to scream, anything. But her body wouldn't move. Finally, Noel grabbed Alison's right hand, and right when he turned around to start running, another knife was thrown at his thigh and Noel fell down at one knee, screaming.

The other boy was close now. He was taking another knife out.  _Where did he get all of these?_  Alison thought.  _And where is he keeping it?_  Okay, that was not the time to think about that.

After the guy had the other knife at his hand, many things happened at once. First, Alison remembered that she as well had a knife of her own. And she had practiced throwing it in the trainings. Then Alison reached for her own knife stuck on her waist in a belt as the guy had stopped walking and prepared to throw his knife. And as the same time Alison threw her knife in the direction of the guy, he threw his own in their direction, and Noel was screaming in the background.

Her knife hit the guy straight in his throat, though Alison was not aiming at that, it was really effective. The guy fell in his knee and then he fell down in his face and didn't move anymore. That was followed by the sound of the cannon.

Alison then remembered he throw a knife too. But she didn't felt anything. Well, besides the knife already stuck in her right shoulder. Then she looked at Noel, that now was standing behind her. Immediately after she looked at his face she looked away again. Then there was the second cannon.

 _Oh, that's where the knife went._  Alison choked a sob in her throat.

She finally allowed herself to fall on her own knees and choke on her tears. Alison didn't know what to think.

She did it. She survived the games.

Her first thought was Emily. As she let the first tear roll down her face she looked up.

"I did it, Em." She hopped that someone was seeing that. "I'm coming back home."

That was her last thought before she blacked out at the sound of the machines of the capitol coming down to take her.


	6. Since You’ve Been Gone

Alison looked through the window of the train. The view becoming more and more familiar as she got closer to home. But even though the images she saw were familiar, it looked almost foreign to her eyes. The past few weeks did changed her. But she still couldn't believe she was going home. She had kept her promise and she was coming back. It was almost like a dream, though she felt it was almost like a nightmare at the same time.

Now that she had survived the games that made her a victor. Therefore, that made her a mentor. Which means every year for now on she would have to come back to the capitol, instruct other kids how to survive inside the arena and probably watch countless of those children die. But before that, of course, there was the Victory Tour, something that she was completely not ready to go. But she guessed no one ever really was.

And those were just the nightmares she had to deal while she was awake.

Yes, since she got out of the arena she had been having these nightmares that were even worse than  _being_  inside the arena or any consequence that came after.

She sometimes would see the last minutes she lived inside the arena over and over again. Noel would haunt her dreams every night, his face deformed by the knife and he would ask how could have Alison let him die, and all that Alison could do was stand there without moving a muscle just repeating how sorry she was. Those weren't the worst ones though. Now and then she saw Emily's face instead of Noel's. And those were the times were she woke up crying.

Alison shook off those thoughts when she realized that the train had stopped in the station of district 12.

She tried to focus on the thought that she was home now. Back to her family and friends and Emily. Emily was there. Alison had to hold herself together now. She was close to hold Emily in her arms again. And she was close to start the happy ending she had promised Emily.

Alison walked to the door waiting for it to finally open so she could be with the ones she loved again. And one more time it all felt really surreal to her. The last thing she said to herself before the doors opened was to stay cool and not to seem desperate when she finally had Emily in her arms.

Of course, all those thoughts vanished from her head in the minute the doors opened and the first face she saw was Emily's down by the platform. She hadn't even noticed her parents standing in the platform just by the side of the door. They pressed Alison into a hug and cried of happiness. Not that Alison didn't appreciated the gesture, but her family just didn't expressed much their feelings, that's why Alison felt a little awkward with all of it, but glad at the same time.

She had to hold herself not to jump out of that platform into Emily's arms. For one second her thoughts were all over the place before Alison remembered that before doing anything else she had to smile and pose for the damn cameras that were everywhere.

She did so for a couple of minutes that felt more like one hour. She didn't tore her eyes from Emily even for just one second. The brunette had a smile on her face and she seemed calm, though Alison knew she must've been just as anxious as she was.

When she was finally done and couldn't help it any longer, she jumped out of the platform and ran towards Emily, she saw the smile on her face grow wider – just as hers must have – when she finally felt the brunette in her arms again.

Alison breathed relieved as she finally felt home and the world started to dissolve around them. Alison buried her face in Emily's hair, feeling her scent. She felt the tears behind her eyes.

"God, I have missed you so much!" Alison breathed on Emily's ear.

"I have missed you so much too." Emily muffled a half laugh-half cry.

Alison pulled away just enough to see Emily's face, her hands still on her neck. The brunette had tears in her eyes and Alison cleaned them away, caressing Emily's face in the end. She took a moment to look at her, finally feeling complete to look at that so familiar face that never failed to make her feel butterflies in her stomach. Finally, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, not carrying that there were hundreds of people surrounding them.

Alison then rested her forehead on Emily's.

"Don't ever leave me like that again." Emily said with her eyes closed.

"I won't."

xxxxxxxxxx

After the "welcome home 'reunion'" had ended Alison managed to make a quick scape from her friends and she found herself in Noel's house. She didn't knew how she ended up there but she did. She hadn't seen Noel's family when she arrived. They needed to be home now. Alison needed them to be there. Noel had been pestering her dreams and she figured that maybe if she spoke with his family and tried to apologize her dreams wouldn't be as bad anymore. And she felt she needed to say something, because after all, they did grew a little tiny bit closer inside the arena.

Alison knocked on the door and was greeted by Noel's brother. He didn't seemed very pleased on seeing her but stepped aside for Alison to come in.

After Alison did her talking, she felt a little lighter, even though she thought the visit was harsh on her and even more on the Khan family. She went home to find her friends were waiting there for her. Luckily, neither her friends or her parents asked where she had gone before coming home, she wasn't in the mood to have that conversation with anyone right now. She had already said what she needed to say to the people that she needed to hear.

Alison then proposed that they went to see her new house. She had received the key when she entered the train to come home. All the girls seemed exited with the idea, though Alison didn't cared much herself. The only thing Alison was grateful now was to be back home.

xxxxxxxxxx

They walked past the entrance to the Victor's Village. Alison walked close to Emily, she hold her hand playing with her fingers as they walked. The girls didn't talk much, but when they did they avoided talking about anything related to what happened inside the arena, and Alison was grateful for that.

They didn't had to walk much to find the house Alison was designated to. It was one of the first houses because after all, district 12 had only two Victors now, counting with Alison. The other one was her mentor, a guy who had lost half of his hearing when he participated the games a few years before Alison was born. He spoke very loudly.

Alison took off the key from her jacket and raised to the lock. She entered the house followed by Emily, Hanna, Spencer and Aria. All girls let out a gasp when they saw the house.

Well, just the outside was more luxurious than any person on district 12 could ever afford. Now imagine the inside. It had a huge living room entering the right door in front of the stairs, all decorated and with great lighting. To the left, Alison could see the dining room – very well decorated as well – and another door she imagined it led to the kitchen.

For some reason the first thing Alison noticed was how neat and clean the house was, taking in consideration that no one ever lived there. Not that it mattered. Maybe they sent people to clean the house before Alison arrived. It was the least they could after all…

"This house is bigger  _and_  better than  _all_  of our houses combined!" Hanna took a step forward.

"I would say she's exaggerating but she is totally right." Spencer followed Hanna inside the living room.

"Agreed." Aria followed the two other girls inside. Leaving Alison standing in the door with Emily.

"I guess this really is a big house." Alison commented after a moment.

"Well, you deserved it." Emily said softly to her, as she put one arm around Alison.

"I guess I did." She rested her head on Emily's shoulder.

"Wow! You have a freaking office!" Hanna screamed from somewhere inside the house and Alison couldn't help the smile on her face. Emily let out a light laugh and kissed Alison in her head.

"Come on. Let's meet your new office." Emily tugged on Alison's hand and pulled her inside the house.

xxxxxxxxxx

When the sun was setting in the horizon, the girls decided to end the tour and head back home.

"You guys can go. I told my mom I was planning on stay the night here. Just to see how it goes." Alison told the girls at the door.

"Are you sure you want to spend the night here alone?" Hanna asked.

"I don't think it's much of big deal, I'll be fine." Alison assured them.

"If you really think you will be fine after –" Spencer stopped herself, looking a little uncomfortable. Alison knew what she meant, but for the few days past her exit from the arena, she had learned to be alone and to deal with her fears. Though she couldn't say it didn't frightened her, to be alone again. But she would have to face it sooner or later.

"I think I'll stay a while longer." Emily looked at Alison a little worried.

"You don't have to –"

"It's fine." Emily cut her off. "Unless you don't want me to."

"No, you can stay if you want." Alison couldn't say she wasn't dying to be alone with Emily even for just a few minutes.

"Okay. Maybe someone should warn my mom." She turned to Spencer and Aria, who lived on the same area as Emily, The Seam.

"Will do." Spencer said.

"I'll check on your mom on the way home." Hanna said to Alison. Hanna was the one the one that lived next to Alison, next to Square. Different classes, different places to live. "I'll let her know everything's fine and your new house is the only thing worth it on my life right now." Hanna joked, taking a few laughs out of the girls.

"Thank you, Hanna." Alison replied.

"We should get going then." Aria said reaching for the door.

They said their goodbyes and agreed to meet on Alison's old house the other day, to pack some things.

Alison watched through the window as her friends walked away when she felt Emily's hand on her shoulder. She turned around and wrapped her arms around Emily's neck, hugging her.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked after a few moments of silence.

Alison pulled away slightly and looked at Emily.

"I'm hoping it gets better." Alison said as Emily reached her face.

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll do my best to help." Emily said caressing her cheek.

"I think we are kind of good with promises." Alison stated.

"Let's not tempt fate." Emily said only half joking. "But I'm glad you kept your promise." Emily pressed her lips softly in Alison's.

"I'm glad I've got you." Alison said short after Emily pulled away. "Will you stay with me tonight?" Alison asked after a few seconds.

"As long as you need me." Alison's heart warmed inside with her words and the way Emily looked at her.

"There is no me if there is no you." Alison's hand moved to Emily's face, cupping her chin. "What I meant is that I will always need you." This time was Emily's heart that melted in her chest as Alison leaned forward to press a kiss on the girl's lips, a real kiss this time, not just a peck on her lips.

Emily pulled her as close as she could and Alison tangled her hand on Emily's brunette hair. They kissed softly and slow but with passion and need, the need both girls had since the day Alison went way. It was like they were kissing for the very first time and the very last at the same time.

Only in that moment both girls realized how much they craved for each other. Alison parted her lips so Emily could kiss her fully and as they kissed this time, it was not like others. It was full of need and want and for the first time it didn't felt like enough. Emily tightened the hold on Alison's waist and Alison tried to pull the girl even closer to her, but no matter how close they were together and it still wasn't enough.

They pulled slightly apart only when breathing became harder and harder. Alison looked deep on Emily's eyes that reflected probably the same look on Alison's.

"I need you, right now." Alison said breathless, what made Emily's own breath hitch on her throat. The kind of need both girls had on that moment was different and stronger than anything ever.

"Come with me." Emily took Alison's hand and started to pull her to the stairs.

Alison opened one of the few rooms they had seen on the upper floor and pulled Emily inside with her. Not a second after Emily closed the door Alison was already kissing her again.

Emily place her hand on the back of Alison's neck and Alison held the hem of Emily's shirt feeling the soft skin beneath as she did so. Alison felt warm inside, almost in fire. She had felt like that other times she was alone with Emily, kissing her. But it was different because they were never truly alone, and never for more than a few minutes. But now, now they were alone with a whole house for themselves. And Alison had almost died for Emily, trying to get back home. And then she did and Emily was there. All Alison wanted now was to have her completely, the same way she wanted to belong to Emily.

They kissed and kissed until the pouring need for each other couldn't hold back anymore and they ended up in the bed. There was no clothes, just the feeling of flesh in flesh and the scent of both girls mixing up as their body connected. Emily was all of hers now. And Alison was all of Emily's. Both girls never felt more complete.

Alison then fell asleep in Emily's arms. She remember never wanting to let go.

The other day when Alison woke up, still wrapped around Emily, she noticed that that was the first night where her nightmares weren't as bad as usual. She turned to look into Emily's sleeping face, peacefully. She traced the line on the girls face and smiled fondly at her. And just for one moment, that little moment on that morning, forgetting all the side effects of the games that would still come, she thought that maybe her life wouldn't be so bad if she get to wake up to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the content in this story is actually canonically right to the Hunger Games universe. Thank you for reading.


End file.
